Taylor Talk

Ok here is the scene:

I am helping Taylor with homework. We are in the process of reading. That is her doing the reading and me assisting when needed. Then of course me doing some reading as well while she follows along with the words.

So she is reading and comes to the word beach. The following ensues:

Taylor - Bee-otch They played on the bee-otch.

Me - Laughing hysterically.

Taylor - (raising her voice) BEE-OTCH!! Daddy BEE-OTCH

Me - (laughing harder) its not bee-otch Taylor.

Taylor - Even more upset at my laughing screams at the top of her lungs for all the world to hear....... BEE-OTCH!!!!

We were at the table in the backyard by the way.

Me - No Taylor the word is NOT Bee-otch.

Taylor - Oh...... OK I KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!!!

Me - Then what is it?

Taylor - (beaming with pride) Its BEE-ATCH!!!!! (smile on her face)

Me - More continuous laughter as I thank God once again for my children.

Me - The word is beach Taylor.

Taylor - OHHHHHHH they played on the beeeeach! So why were you laughing at me then.

Me - Because you are soooooooo beautiful sometimes I just laugh out loud with happiness that your my daughter.

Have a great weekend!




Love and Prayers,





P.S. We plan on having a name for the puppy by Monday, so get your entries in now while there is still time. We have many good ones to choose from but havent had anything just knock us over yet where we just knew that was it. The more suggestions the more it helps. Unique names seem to be doing well as of late. Especially those that have some kind of meaning behind them.

Taylor Talk

Today we were doing some homework. We are in the process of working with numbers when this funny exchange occurs:

I am holding a piece of paper that has every number from 1 to 100. I am pointing at random numbers and having her tell me what they were.

Me: Ok Taylor what number is this? (pointing at 14)

Taylor: Fourteen Daddy.

Me: And this? (pointing at 65)

Taylor: Sixty five daddy.

Me: And this one (pointing at 24)

Taylor: Ummmmmmm...... Tooty four?

Nice. I think tootin is all she thinks about.


Love and Prayers,

Thank You and Taylor Talk

I wanted to thank those of you who have sent me email asking how I am doing. It means more to me than you will ever know, and the prayers have been much needed.

I am feeling a little bit better, however I know I still have a long way to go. I have a very weak immune system to begin with, so asking it to handle something like this on its own will be tricky. Your continued prayers are appreciated.

So let me set the scene for what happened today at the doctors office:

Our entire family is sitting waiting in the patients room for the doctor to come in. The nurse has just left and we are seeking ways to keep the kids occupied and quite. For those who don't know, my son is 2 and my daughter just turned 6. It went something like this....

Me: Will, lower your voice please.

Will: voish? wat voish?

Me: (pointing to my mouth) your mouth, make your mouth quiet.

Will: uh...ohhhh mouuuf! (as he points to his own mouth)

Me: that's right close your mouth.

Taylor: Daddy's got a BIG MOUTH!

Of course she is talking about the actual size of it, but that wasn't the way it sounded.

After the laughter subsides:

Taylor: He's got the biggest belly too!

I know you are all quite happy now that I am one who takes life lightly enough to share this kind of moment with you even thought they are so incriminating to me. So to that end I say, you better have laughed!!


THIS JUST IN..........

Will goes to the kitchen and puts a small piece of paper in the trash for mommy. He then quickly returns to ask the following question.

Wat I geeaat? Mommy wat I geeaat? As if he needs an award or something. He is freakin two!

Not Me Monday!

So here we are at the beginning of another week. I do hope that yours is special. So sit back and relax, because here comes your Fort Thompson Not Me's. Always guaranteed to be funny!

It was NOT me who ended up a human bubble machine tonight. Carey goes to the store, decides to get sweet on me by picking up some of my favorite snacks. She is soo sweet. She gets me some of my favorite candy (Whoppers, the pink strawberry one's!) and I couldn't be more excited about it. Turns out that on her way home she had busted a bottle of fabric softener. You know the REALLY smelly kind, the stuff I really like to smell when its in MY CLOTHES! Anyway, I digress. So it spills all over everything which includes the box my candy comes in. When she gets home and unpacks the groceries she says "ohhh, I was wondering why the car smelled sooooo clean". So she is in such a hurry, and thinks that the fabric softener got onto the candy box only, but NOT on the candy, even though it was soaking wet! And decides to put the candy in a Tupperware container to give to me. I get the candy and do think its a bit weird that they are given to me this way and not in a box, but in my excitement I dump into my mouth about as many as I can and begin to chew and swallow. It creeps up on me slowly as I think, MAN there is something seriously wrong with this candy. Then it comes to me as the taste and smell of lillie fill my sinus cavities. I run to the sink to expectorate what was left as my eyes have turned red and now drip with tears. So it is NOT me who's nose has bubbles coming out of it and who's mouth tastes like it has 10 million lillies in it. It is also NOT me who is the human bubble machine as every time I cough for 10 to 15 minutes bubbles come out. The entire family of course takes this opportunity (as I would have, I've taught them well) to laugh and poke fun of my misery. I'm so glad they got a good kick out of it.

It was also NOT me who stood in line at Home Depot to ask the guy a question when the following happened.
There is a lady who is in line behind us also waiting to ask a question and my daughter (who is so kind to strangers) strikes up a conversation with her. Well at least she was talking to the lady, but the lady was not speaking to her. I turned and noticed just as my daughter said something to make her laugh that she was in desperate need of a dental plan, (who knows she might have been on Idol in her younger years) and in that split second my so helpful daughter says " HEY I THINK SOME OF YOUR TEETH FALLED OUT!"

No that couldn't have been me?

Now get on over to MckMama's and check out the rest of the Not Me Monday's! For those of you who havent noticed, just thought I would mention, she has been leaving comments here at Fort Thompson!! So stay tuned you never know what she might do next!

Don't HATE this Post!

Ok for all you wonderful ladies out there that read The Fort, please don't leave me hate comments after reading this, and if you must can you please make them in a loving way? Don't worry I'm a big boy and I can handle it if you do.

To my wife,

Please accept my apology in advance of reading this and know how much I love you. Some day you will forget I even posted this.


Ok so this is the conversation that I just had with my daughter on the way home from dinner. She was talking to me about vacations. I just didn't know how to resist not sharing this. Again sweety I'm sorry. :)

Taylor: Daddy? When is the next time we are gonna stay in a hotel?

Daddy: I don't know sweety why?

Taylor: Because I like staying in hotels.

Daddy: Me too sweety, I like them allot.

Taylor: Mommy doesn't like hotels daddy.

Daddy: (Long Pause) Ummmm......She just doesn't like the cost.

Taylor: Daddy?

Daddy: Yes sweety?

Taylor: Mommy's CHEAP!!!!

This was just too rich in my opinion not to post.

By the way, I have gotten allot of great comments on how many of you enjoy the humor in this blog. Therefore I will do what I can to bring you more of it since I am a true believer in that laughter is the best medicine.

So if you really enjoy a good laugh, go and check out this Not Me Monday post from my new friend Nikki at Life as We Know It. It is the funniest thing I have read all day. It is for sure a DON'T MISS POST!!! Make sure you leave her a comment and tell her Fort Thompson sent ya!