Warning Warning Warning!!!!
This WILL be a tear jerker. You have been warned. Proceed with CAUTION!!
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So ever since my post about random things, I have had a ton of you ask for me to share about my death experience. I will do so now. I want to preface this story by saying that this is incredibly hard for me to talk about as it brings back many emotions from that day. When you go through something like this, you are left with gratitude beyond measure, however you are also left wondering what Gods true calling is for your life as there is obviously a reason you were left on this earth. The experience of all of these emotions at once is often overbearing, however I will do my best to get through this post, as so many of you have asked me to share.
I first want to share with you something that happened just around the time I had my experience. We had some very good friends in my dad's church named James and Pam. I believe he was even one of the churches deacon's. For those of you who don't already know my father is a Baptist Pastor. They were very close to our family and we did many things together like going out to eat after fellowships and services. James and Pam were some of the warmest and kindest people you could ever meet.
They had two daughters, a four year old named Katie, and another who was only a baby at the time. Her name escapes me now as it has been so many years since this happened. Anyway, one morning little Katie comes to her mother (Pam) and tells her that an angel had woke her, sat on her bed, and told her to tell her mother not to worry as she and her Grandmother were going to go be with Jesus. Pam being a bit startled by this, as Katie had never said anything like this before, ran to Katie's bedroom to find no one there. Katie again assured her that the angel was indeed there, and that she shouldn't worry because all would be ok.
The very next day while on a trip in their RV they were struck by a drunk driver, and the Motor Home immediately broke into flames. The baby had to be tossed from a window as they were all trapped inside. James and Pam were able to escape with their lives, however receiving some very serious burns. Not all were as lucky as James, Pam, and the baby. That day Katie and her Grandmother did indeed go to be with Jesus. This was an extremely tragic event for a family that we were so close to. Everyone took some comfort in knowing that Katie and her Grandmother had indeed gone to be with Jesus just as the angel had said. My father of course preached the funeral, and there wasn't a dry eye in the place. Funerals are never easy, but especially those of a child.
Now on to what you have all waited for. So many of you asked me on multiple occasions to share my story of what had happened when I died. Please know that this is the first time publicly I have ever spoke about this. To me it was a very personal experience, and one that I don't take lightly. Please pray for me to have God's guidance and comfort in my heart as I share these very personal moments with you publicly for the very first time.
Not very long after James and Pam lost their dear Katie and Mother/ Mother-in-Law I had my incident. I was only 16 years old and just a sophomore in high school. In order to communicate this story effectively I must first provide you with a little background.
This is the hard part of this post. For all but about 6 years of my life, this has been a secret. It was only a secret because I was ashamed, embarrassed, and just really didn't want to bear the burden of any ridicule I might have to endure. So I have kept it to myself up until about 6 years ago when I started to share it, but only with a select few who were either family members or those who I felt could benefit from hearing it. Now I chose to share it with you.
When I was only 6 years of age I was diagnosed with Epilepsy. For those who might not know, it is a seizure (neurological) disorder. I have grandmal seizures which are the worst kind. Total loss of all body function, consciousness, and memory. I had never had any kind of memory from any of my numerous seizures until that faithful day. More on that later.
So growing up I spent much of my childhood in hospitals. If I wasn't in a hospital I had just gotten out of one and could barely walk. Having a seizure is like pulling a muscle in your body. The only difference is that it hurts three times worse than a muscle pull and its in ALL your muscles. I mean there are none that get spared.
Living with this disorder is about allot more than just dealing with seizures. All of my family has endured great stress because of it. I thank God everyday for each of them, as I'm not sure that I would be able to endure what my family has lived through with me.
My sister bless her heart was still just a toddler when I started having seizures. If you have ever seen someone have a grandmal seizure then you know how scary it is. Now imagine a child as young as my sister (3 at the time) having to witness that over and over as it happened to her brother. I can't even imagine it. What I do know is that I cannot put into words how sorry I am for scaring her so. I love her so much and she means the world to me.
This is getting very difficult for me......... breathe.. tissues... ok.
My dad, he is my best friend in the world. He has the softest heart of anyone you will ever meet. He has touched the lives of so many people, and brought more than you could ever imagine to Christ. If my kids get even the slightest bit upset about something you can literally see his heart breaking. I can't even express in words how helpless he must have felt in watching me live with this disorder knowing that there was no way he could take it out of my little body and put it in his. I know that's what he wanted to do. So for all the ways that I haven't the time or space to write about, Daddy I love you. If I can be even a small fraction of the Father to my kids that you have been to me, I will be a HUGE success.
Then there has always been my Mother the Registered Nurse. She has worked in medicine her entire career so she knew from the beginning how serious this was. She is the one that truly is the reason I am here. As a child living in the 70's there were very few if any medicines that were made in liquid form. Most were all tablets or gel capsules. As a child I was not able to swallow a pill and the taste of trying to chew these Epilepsy medicines was just unbearable. So my Mother bless her soul spent many a night in the kitchen perched atop my chest as I lay on my back. She would fight with me forcing pill after pill down my throat, all while dripping is sweat, my shirt soaked with her tears and the floor soaked with mine. She did this night after painstaking night, all done out of love so that her only son would live to breath another day. I tell you this just as honestly as I can, this woman of God saved my life on more occasions than anyone will ever know. The things she had to do to keep me by her side no one should ever have to endure. She did all of them without complaint. She is a Mother sent by God, and I thank him everyday that I get to call her mine. She has been there for me everyday, and I write this post today because of her.
Please forgive me, I will have to return to this later........ok I'm back and more composed so let's try to finish this.
Then there came the day that none of us will ever forget. Moments like this become etched in your mind, so deep is there place never to be lost. A day back in the summer of 1984, where I was only a sophomore in high school.
I had a seizure which started out just like any other. I was being rushed by ambulance to the hospital when just before arriving I suddenly went into cardiac arrest. For those uncertain of what this means, it is when the heart stops beating and you no longer can breath on your own. This is what happens when you die.
I was still in arrest when arriving at the hospital and was rushed inside where resuscitation continued. No such luck. They started using defibrillators to try and shock a rhythm back into my heart all while inti bating me so that a machine could breath for me. Once someone has been gone for close to five minutes the doctor usually will call the time of death. I had been gone for 6 minutes and 45 seconds most all of which had happened while not on a vent. This meant that with no oxygen supply to my brain during this time, everyone felt very confident that I would have extensive brain damage if not just be a vegetable.
This was not to be! I woke in my room as my doctor (who was a family friend and also a pastor) stood over me. My doctors didn't expect me to ever talk again, however as he stood there he said "Timothy, do you know where you are?". I always thought that was the dumbest question. Of course my reply was "uuhh yeah, I'm in the hospital". Tears filled my Mothers eyes as she sat next to my bed and began to realize that a miracle was indeed happening. God had answered so many prayers of so many people that day.
No other patient in this hospital had ever been medically dead for that length of time and come back with no problems whatsoever. I was an instant celebrity, and anytime I walked in that hospital everyone knew me by name. They did test after test on my heart and brain and everything came back normal. God is SO good!
So as I lay there in the bed with my doctor over me, he asks me what I remember. I was thinking that to be a rather obvious question as well since I had never remembered anything during a seizure. I did for some reason feel like he had a reason for asking it this time although I still don't know what it was.
So I told him that I had a dream. One of which I could remember like I had just woke up from it and it was still happening. You know the kind. So he asks me what happened in the dream and I tell him the following.
I was in a hospital room and there where doctors and nurses there and they were all standing around me. He asked "what were they doing?" I tell him that they were banging on my chest and it hurt, so I was trying to tell them to stop, but I couldn't move my mouth because I just seemed to be an observer and that I wasn't in my body. He asked what I meant and so I told him it was like I was floating in the air above my body. He asked "you mean you could see everything?" I said yes. So his eyes got really big and he says "where were these doctors and nurses?" I tell him that there was one doctor and one nurse on my right, and one doctor and two nurses on my left. His eyes get HUGE! So he says "was there anyone else in the room?" I said as a matter of fact there was, my Mother. His voice shakes terribly as he asks "where was she?" I tell him she was at the foot of the bed the entire time always there for me. The room drew silent for some time. I was then notified that I had passed away during my seizure. THIS WAS NO DREAM! What appeared to me to be a dream to me had actually happened.
I also remembered feeling as though I was gliding through darkness toward a light that was in the shape of a man. It was so peaceful and quite. The last thing I recall after seeing this figure is waking up in the ICU and having this discussion with my doctor. I will always recall the last thing he said before he left my room... "God has a special place here for you on this Earth. There is a reason your here, God isn't finished with you yet."
I mentioned before that when I have seizures I never remember anything that happened during them. This was not one of those times. This was the only time that I remembered anything, and remember it quite well I do.
Coincidence? I think not. I know that there is a reason I remember. Its because I was not unconscious, I was conscious as I could be. After this life you see there is no unconscious, everything is more real than you could ever imagine. This is why I remember. I was there and I lived it. As for my body, it was for sure dead, as for me? Well, I was VERY much alive!
This is NOT a story. It is not a fictitious blog post with fictional characters. It is very much based on real life events that really took place. It is my life, and yes I have lived it.
This has been a very difficult post to write. It has taken days of my stepping away from this laptop, so that I could see through the tears to write another paragraph. However, if my story helps others to understand that the teachings of the bible aren't fictitious but actual events that actually happened that will determine the course of all our future, then I will consider it well worth the effort.
I thank God everyday I wake up seizure free. I have done so since 1995. Of course it is my hope and prayer that I will NEVER have another one as I just couldn't stand to put my children and wife through it. So please keep me in your prayers that I stay seizure free. I am not free of the disorder, I still have it and take 8 pills a day to prove it. I have just been blessed to go without having one for that length of time.
Miracle (mir-e-kel) n. An event that is unexplainable by the laws of nature and so is held to be an act of God.
I am a miracle, touched by his hand and left to tell about it. If you don't believe that there is life after death, I'm here to tell you that there very much is. I am living my life after death on this earth now, however through my experience I know that eternity is real and I look forward to that part of my new life everyday. Do you?
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In commemoration of this post that was so very difficult for me, I would like to start a new feature to Fort Thompson. At least once a month and hopefully more often than that I will post a feature story of someones elses miracle. This will give you the chance to read about how God has moved in the lives of so many others. These stories will be blessings that will touch your heart in ways you couldn't even imagine. So if you have a story of a miracle in your life, or you know someone who has experienced a miracle, or you just have a truly inspirational story of how God has worked in your life or someone else's, please email us at Fort Thompson as we would love to feature your story here. We will link your feature post back to your blog. Also if you feel led to do so, posting about this new feature on your site would be much appreciated. Please link to this post so that your readers will come straight to this story. Your help in getting the word out is much appreciated.
Keep an eye out for Fort Thompson Monthly Miracle's! We hope to have this a weekly feature soon!
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