Not Me Monday

It's time again for MckMama's Not Me Monday. If you aren't already doing this you should get on over to her blog and get started!

It seems as though many of you are putting some pressure on me as you seem to think that you can't miss my Not Me's because you have found them so humorous. I'm glad I can put some laughter in your day, however I honestly don't know what you find funny or not. So I will do my best to live up to the expectation.

It was NOT Me that was sent a 400 dollar editing tablet (to be used for retouching photos by hand) in the mail by my wife only to find out later it was to improve her standing with me so I would agree to let her get a Blackberry Phone. Only to let her order it the VERY next day from Verizon. No that was certainly NOT ME. I'm not that weak am I? Yeah I guess I am.

It was also Not Me who had my nephew tell me that people were animals before they were people. Really? They are teaching 2nd graders about Darwin's Theory of Evolution? I set him straight on that real quick and made sure he understood that God made people and that they were made in his image. It was also not me who walked out of class in the 8th grade when my science class talked about that.

Then it was Not Me who at dinner tonight had my daughter ask me "daddy why doesn't everyone have a family?" It was also Not Me who replied "everyone does have a family" only to have her say "no they don't". Then to make things worse it was NOT ME who says (not thinking) "everyone does have a family because it takes a mommy and a daddy to make a baby." It was NOT ME that was thinking (WHAT DID I JUST GET MYSELF INTO!!) It is NOT ME that's about to have the birds and the bees convo with my 6 year old. NO WAY!!! It's NOT ME by the way that has a gun by my door, and wont let my daughter wear makeup until shes like 30. No way that is me! So I changed the subject and asked her to turn around at the table and quit talking. Or maybe it was NOT ME who needed to stop talking.

And lastly, for those of you who seem so enthused to hear about my daughters flatulence. It was NOT ME that laughed when I heard some butt slappin coming from her direction (only because she was trying so hard to hold it in and I could see the redness building in her face) only to have her come over and slap me a few times because it embarrassed her. Strange thing is its never embarrassed her before.

And since you all like to laugh at my expense so much, it was NOT ME that went to the bathroom while having a house guest standing right outside the bathroom door, try my best to do my business quietly only to have the sound of a dying seal emanate through the bottom of the toilet and then reverberate all through an all tile bathroom. NO WAY that was not even me! You know why? Because it was my daughter from the other room! Yeah! It was NOT ME that just tried to blame that on my daughter either.

So make you way over to MckMama's and join in the fun. Also, make sure you browse thru all the different Not Me's. Oh and tell me if you have or had grandparents that were that free with their gas. It's NOT ME that's asking that question.